Saturday, September 24, 2011

Stressful week.....

This resembled me this week.  Well, especially Thursday night.  I lost my mind (well, what was left of it).

First, my surgeon is going on vacation.....for 3 weeks.  ugh!!!  So it will be Oct. 21 before I see him and THEN they can submit everything to the insurance.  So it could be another 3 weeks after that and what if they disapprove it.  So it will probably be more then 6 weeks PLUS there is Thanksgiving, so no surgeries that week probably.  Needless to say, I am annoyed.  I was hoping he would have a cancellation before he went on vacation so we could get the paperwork to the insurance company, but oh well, it is not my time.

I am a passive person.  I RUN from any confrontations or any situation that could be sticky.  I don't handle stuff like that well at all.  Ok, so with the stress of everything this week, I found myself trying to figure some things out and I lost my mind.  At one point I resembled the girl from the Exorcist.  I really believe my head spun around.  I was having a battle with myself and neither one won.  Ugh!!!

I am still fighting with myself, but trying to do it in a positive way (which is more my nature).  One, I am trying to learn how to face things head on instead of running from them (soooo much easier said then done....for me).  This morning, I decided to take a little out on the treadmill and walked for an hour while watching the Biggest Loser.  I do feel better.  Now to just approach my difficulties and take my stress out on the treadmill from now on...then maybe my husband won't be so skeered.  :)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I am beginning to realize the importance of a good support system.  I know the staff at my doctor’s office are adamant about us having a good support system at home and hopefully in life as well.
I was conversing with one of my sisters yesterday.  She is trying so hard to quit smoking and she made it 10 days.  I am so proud of her.  I noted several things about our conversation.  One, she acknowledged that she smoked more then she led everyone to believe.  Wow, that was huge, because she was being honest with herself.  Another was when she said how much she needed to hear her sisters say, “I am proud of you.”  She knows we are and we tell her often, but she realizes how much she needs that support system.  She knows it is vital to her success.  Oh, and another thing she pointed out was that she has realized that her desire for a cigarette is temporary, not all day.  I told her that it was such a part of her routine that she is feeling that change at times and she will need to work towards developing new routines.
I realized our journeys are quite similar.  We are both making life changes that will affect our health and the rest of our lives.  Just the other day I decided it is time to ditch the carbs.  Well, the bad carbs that is.   I have been going thru my own DT’s, but I know I will feel better in the long run.  Heck, it has paid off in a few more lbs lost.  Yeah Me!!!  But back to the support, thanks to my sisters excitement for her own milestone, it helped me fight thru mine yesterday.  I wanted to eat something not so good for me, but I fought thru it because she gave me that boost I needed (and she doesn’t even know it).
I am blessed to have an awesome support system.  My sisters are my cheerleaders.  They keep encouraging me on this journey and like my other sister, that support helps me thru the next hurdle.  My husband as well as other family and friends are there for me in whatever endeavors I take and the monthly support group as well as and this blog have been amazing.  I am learning so much from others.

(P.S. I weighed this morning and it was 245.2.  I can't seem to update my weight loss ticker.  ugh)

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Another sunday in the south

This Sunday is a far cry better then last Sunday.  Irene came for a very unwelcomed visit.  We were very fortunate, but my step daughters car was flooded and some friends house was flooded.  We were without power from Saturday around 4 am till Friday around 3 pm.  Those first days were was so hot and the air was still.  All you could here were generators throughout the neighborhood.  I was thanking God for the nights that got down to the mid 60's.  Now, just praying that the new storm coming avoids us.

Well, I have 8 more days till my final check mark.  My husband asked last night when my surgery will be.  I tried to explain the process and just managed to confuse him all the more.  I said, I would say mid October. :)  I was reading some comments on and some were saying that the surgeons give them a tentative date while they wait for the thumbs up from the insurance company.  I hope so....I am so excited.  I have been struggling and I am so ready for this.  And I am so discussed with myself.  And I found a new fat role the other day.  grrrr  I didn't realize the fat was hanging down on my back.  NOT happy about that at all.  ok, enough on my pity party.