I want my band and I want it now!

Funny how firm I can be on the computer and such a push over in real life.

I am currently doing my 3 month, doctor supervised diet and exercise. (insurance required) Ugh!  The good thing, I have a constant reminder of why I am choosing to get the band.  I am HUNGRY!!!  I try to do all the right things I know I should, but I am hungry.  I am one of the lucky people.  I like meat, I like veggies and I even like water.  I just get hungry and want to eat the cow in the field down the road.

I continue to read all the success stories for inspiration and try to hold on till that glorious day.  (the cow thanks you)



I am continuing to practice eating slowly and chew chew chew (ha ha, kind of like that cow).  I am also still practicing to eat without drinking.  Sometimes I still take a sip.

A friend of mine got her lap band several years ago.  She has struggled with several things, one being she wasn't hungry.  (Sounds like a good thing to me, but ok)  Anyhow, because she has issues with her blood sugar, she HAD to eat.  Well, I shared some of the info the nutritionist gave me and she found out one of her problems.  "They" told her that you won't be able to drink soda's!  She was like, well, guess what kimosabe, I CAN drink them, so HA!  Well, when I sent her the info, she read where the soda (carbonation) triggers the brain to think you are full and also stretches the pouch.  ahhhhh  So, since she has stopped drinking them, she has been able to eat properly (for a banster that is).

I am learning so much and getting more excited!

Successful bandits

In all my research about the band (reading blogs and forums), I have learned that there are several commonalities amongst successful bandits (or banders or banditos...ha ha, I love all the play on words)

Attitude.  From what I have seen, the folks who have had a good, positive and strong attitude have been successful, whereas the folks that seem to have self-pity or just a plain poor or negative attitude have struggled a whole lot more.  Don't get me know, I realize everyones journey is different and folks have different issues.  Some can eat this, but some can't and so forth.  But the folks with a good attitude seem to have had a better fighting chance.
They were well aware of the changes they would have to make and for the most part, followed thru. They still had lessons to learn, but maintained that positive outlook.

Successful banders see the band as the tool it is meant to be.  They do not see the band as a quick fix.  They learn to use the band to their advantage.

And they prepare themselves.  They arm themselves with the foods they can eat.  Use smaller plates and utensils and search out good recipes.  They read forums and blogs of other successful banders for inspiration and to help keep the focus.

I am making preparations to be ready, mentally and physically.

Best wishes to my fellow newbies.

Goals

I haven't really broached the subject of goals.  The obvious first would be, to look good.  :)  Isn't that what we all want.....deep down.  Actually, I am tired of being tired.  I am tired of feeling like I am moving thru mud just to get from my car to my desk each morning.  And I want to wear cute clothes....well, a 40 year old cute clothes.  (not fond of 40 somethings wearing teens clothes, but that is just me)  I was walking thru a store after my psych visit and looking at the plus size clothes.  They reminded me of the polyester shirts my mother wore in the 70's.  In bright color, bold patterns screaming, "LOOK AT ME, HERE I COME!"  Yeah, just what I want to do.  Sorry, but that is not my cup of tea.  I want to look comfortable.  I want to look relaxed.  Do you know what I mean?  Where your cloths fit nicely and you look comfortable.  I want to fit on a roller coaster again.  I want to have the energy to do things I enjoy.  I want to fit back into my reenacting clothes.

I saw these really cute slacks a few years ago.  I didn't buy them, but I was crazy over them.  Well, I went into the store several months later and they had them for $7.  They only had a 16 and I like how I look at that size, so I bought them.  They are hanging in the closet, just waiting for me.  They are dark blue, with light pin strips and red buttons.  I thought a red tank and white 3/4 sleeve blouse over it would look good.  That is another goal.  I want to wear that outfit.  I promise, the day I do, I will post the pictures.  I am in between a 22 and 24.  Actually, those are tight.  I got so disgusted that I ended up buying men's t-shirts recently.

I was fired up today about recipes. I got the idea to check Campbell's website for meal ideas using their healthy request soups.  I got several promising ones.  I always hear that if meat is dry, it is more apt to get stuck, so I thought this might be a good way to keep it moist.  I also had the idea that if my husband cooks on the grill and it is too dry, maybe I can mix the meat with a little broth and mix it in this little blender.  hmmmm, we shall see.

Let me know of any ideas you might have.

To tell, or not to tell......that is the question:

(Please don't tell Shakespeare I stole his format)
  I have seen this subject countless times in both forums and blogs.  I am taking the lesson's learned by other banders and attempting to only tell those that will support and encourage me.  It still leaves me in a bit of a possible sticky situation.
  Here is the deal.  First, I told my husband, son and step-daughter.  My husband was and has always been supportive.  My son was like, ok (translation:  What ever, your grown, do what you want...ha ha, I love that boy!)  My step-daughter was the only one that struggled with it.  She showed her concern and I explained it to her.  She was more at ease, but still does not understand because, "Miss Joyce, you look just fine."  Awww, love her.  She doesn't fully grasp my fears of future health problems.  I have been so fortunate so far, but for how long?  My poor siblings are having a time with their health.
  I then mentioned it to my two closest friends.  I told them for a couple of reasons.  One, if they found out later, they would have been hurt and two, they are banded, so they would have known.  :)  They have had such a devil of a time with their bands and would rather I didn't, but they know I made my mind up.  I told one just this morning, "I am going into this with my eyes wide open.  I realize the issues I will and may endure and I am still taking this journey."

  I am the baby of 7.  Cold winters in Delaware.....most of us were born in Sept and Oct. ;)  I was talking to my oldest sister the other day.  All of my siblings have always worried about my weight.  Anyhow, we were talking and in an effort to reassure her that I was taking some action, I told her I was talking to a nutritionist and my doctor.  She then says, "Have you thought about the Lap Band?"  I busted out laughing.  Well sis, since you mentioned it, yeah, that's what I am doing.  I thought she was gonna cry.....happy cry.  So now she is fired up looking for protein high, band friendly meals for me.  Woo Hoo!!!
  I am considering telling my other sisters, but I am nervous.  Again, they will probably find out one day and they would be hurt if I didn't.  So I am thinking of telling them.  Wish me luck.

Let's get this party started...part deux

( I am trying not to overwhelm anyone with one huge blog, so I am breaking this first one down)
  So, I went to the seminar and tried to absorb as much info as I could and asked many questions.  Then called days later with more questions.  Knowledge is power!!!  My insurance requires 3mths (for doc visits) of a doctor monitored diet and exercise.  I went on June 10th to get that going.  I went today for my 6 month check on my blood pressure and was UP 2 lbs.  Oh, good grief!
  I went 2 weeks ago to meet with the nutritionist.  LOVED her!!!  One of the things I loved was not only do they say, do this, don't do that, but they tell you why.  I am more apt to obey if I know why.  She gave me a list to try and start making changes.  I am now off sodas.  Good bye Diet Mt. Dew, so long Diet Dr. Pepper.  You are no good for me, so I must sever this relationship.
  I went to a support group that is hosted by our nutritionist and it was awesome.  So much knowledge and trust me, I asked questions.  Looking forward to going thru this new journey with the new friends there.
  I took the psych eval test last week.  (my husband told me to just tell them I was crazy and get it over with. lol  He thinks it is unnatural for someone to be happy all the time.) :)   Anyhow, I met with the psychologist today and he was very please to see how much research I had done and how I am already practicing to chew and chew and chew and also not drinking during meals.
  He was quite helpful.  He gave me the idea to use a child's divided plate and to use children's utensils.  Hmmm, should I get Barbie....maybe Shrek......hey, that little monkey is kind of cute.  Will let you know later what I decide.
  With that said, I did get an idea.  I know some of this is gonna be difficult.  Especially going thru Bander Hell or what ever it is called.  I am sure I will give it a name.  Anyhow, I thought, why not get my own pretty dishes....just for me.  Something that brightens me up, makes me happy.  Heck, beats using the same old stuff.

Well, more to come as I learn more on this new journey and thank you for visiting me and please feel free to share your wealth of knowledge with this newbie.

Let's get this party started

  Well, I suppose you wouldn't call it a party, but a celebration just the same (with liquids, mushies and smaller quantities as the appetizers and meal) :)  (what, no emoticons here....if anyone knows how I can insert them, please let me know).
  About a month ago, I made the decision to go with an adjustable band.  The decision was not easy or quick.  I used to be a naysayer.  Sorry, but I was.  I have a couple of friends with the band and they have had so much trouble for various reasons.  I wanted no part of it.
  Then one day, I was talking to a co-worker who was banded 2 years ago.  She said, Joyce, I was over 300 lbs.  I knew what I needed to do, I just needed this TOOL to help me.  BAMM!!!  No, that is not Emeril in the kitchen.  That was the light bulb smacking me in the head.  TOOL!!!  I never looked at it like that.  If used properly, this tool can help me achieve my goals.
  Once that hit me, I researched and researched and researched some more.  Then I called Southern Surgical in Greenville and got the ball rolling.

A little more about me

My name is Joyce and I am 45, married with a 19 yr old son and 18 yr old step-daughter.  I have battled with my weight since I was 14.  I met my best friend, "Food", in junior high.  I was extremely shy growing up, so I was "that girl".  You remember the one.  The one the school took great pleasure in teasing.  So when I got home each day, my "dear friend" was there to comfort me.
  As a result, I gained weight and was teased all the more.  Oh what a vicious circle.
  We moved from Delaware to North Carolina when I was 15.  I was 5'2" and 185lbs at the time.  I was excited about the move, thinking I would leave my nemesis behind me.  I didn't realize there were nemesis everywhere, so the teasing continued.
  Soon after this, my mother became very ill.  The doctors discovered she had a bad heart with 14 yrs of damage.  I spent that summer taking care of her.  I turned 16 that fall and with that, new changes.  My self-esteem was at its lowest, on top of all the normal teenage issues.  I decided to change and lost weight over the next summer.
  I maintained and met my husband at 18, married at 19 and my mother passed when I was 20.  My heart was broken and my old friend, Food, returned to comfort me.  I can remember that day so well, I ate so much I thought I would be sick.
  A few years later, in my mid 20's, I decided once again to make changes.  I hardly ate, or the right things.  I was never in danger of anorexia, but I still wasn't healthy.  I was about 127lbs when I was 25.  I was happy and all was well in the world.
  Then we tried to have a baby.  I had a couple of miscarriages and turned to my old friend again.  I had gained roughly 35lbs by the time I was pregnant with my son.  After having him, I lost a little, but with all the changes I couldn't seem to focus on me.  (part of that is my co-dependent nature...more on that later).  My weight crept up and in 5 years was 260 plus.  I stopped weighing myself, but I know it was over 260.  My self-esteem was once again rock bottom and in the next 4 yrs my husband and I were divorcing.  I couldn't eat and got down to about 179lbs that next year.
  Unfortunately, I did the dreaded "rebound".  I married 3 weeks after my divorce to a man I barely knew.  ( WHAT was I thinking?!?!?!?)  Soon after I realized he was an alcoholic.  This is how I came to learn I was co-dependant.  For 4 1/2 years, I endured his drunken state.  I was on the verge of insanity, literally.  I asked the doctor for something to help and he gave me some samples.  I put them in my dresser drawer and would periodically look at them, then put them back in.  Finally I pulled them out and said, "I can take these and mask the problem, OR, do something about the problem".  3 weeks later we split.  I CANNOT put into words the shear relief I felt.  By this point, I was 260 plus again.
  I took a WELL needed sabbatical and focused on my son as well as myself.  He was 14 and I was 40.  I had a hysterectomy that August and decided to use that to help me lose weight again.  I tried to eat smaller portions and with the relief of being out of that situation, it came a little easier.  I got down to 202lbs.  Once again it crept up about 20lbs when I met my current husband.  He is awesome and I am so beyond thankful to have him in my life.  I took my time and he was well worth the wait.  We were married this past November.  I was about 235lbs and have since gained to 248.

This is me at our wedding.  I decided to use a full length for better comparisons in the future.

  So, here we are.....