My name is Joyce and I am 45, married with a 19 yr old son and 18 yr old step-daughter. I have battled with my weight since I was 14. I met my best friend, "Food", in junior high. I was extremely shy growing up, so I was "that girl". You remember the one. The one the school took great pleasure in teasing. So when I got home each day, my "dear friend" was there to comfort me.
As a result, I gained weight and was teased all the more. Oh what a vicious circle.
We moved from Delaware to North Carolina when I was 15. I was 5'2" and 185lbs at the time. I was excited about the move, thinking I would leave my nemesis behind me. I didn't realize there were nemesis everywhere, so the teasing continued.
Soon after this, my mother became very ill. The doctors discovered she had a bad heart with 14 yrs of damage. I spent that summer taking care of her. I turned 16 that fall and with that, new changes. My self-esteem was at its lowest, on top of all the normal teenage issues. I decided to change and lost weight over the next summer.
I maintained and met my husband at 18, married at 19 and my mother passed when I was 20. My heart was broken and my old friend, Food, returned to comfort me. I can remember that day so well, I ate so much I thought I would be sick.
A few years later, in my mid 20's, I decided once again to make changes. I hardly ate, or the right things. I was never in danger of anorexia, but I still wasn't healthy. I was about 127lbs when I was 25. I was happy and all was well in the world.
Then we tried to have a baby. I had a couple of miscarriages and turned to my old friend again. I had gained roughly 35lbs by the time I was pregnant with my son. After having him, I lost a little, but with all the changes I couldn't seem to focus on me. (part of that is my co-dependent nature...more on that later). My weight crept up and in 5 years was 260 plus. I stopped weighing myself, but I know it was over 260. My self-esteem was once again rock bottom and in the next 4 yrs my husband and I were divorcing. I couldn't eat and got down to about 179lbs that next year.
Unfortunately, I did the dreaded "rebound". I married 3 weeks after my divorce to a man I barely knew. ( WHAT was I thinking?!?!?!?) Soon after I realized he was an alcoholic. This is how I came to learn I was co-dependant. For 4 1/2 years, I endured his drunken state. I was on the verge of insanity, literally. I asked the doctor for something to help and he gave me some samples. I put them in my dresser drawer and would periodically look at them, then put them back in. Finally I pulled them out and said, "I can take these and mask the problem, OR, do something about the problem". 3 weeks later we split. I CANNOT put into words the shear relief I felt. By this point, I was 260 plus again.
I took a WELL needed sabbatical and focused on my son as well as myself. He was 14 and I was 40. I had a hysterectomy that August and decided to use that to help me lose weight again. I tried to eat smaller portions and with the relief of being out of that situation, it came a little easier. I got down to 202lbs. Once again it crept up about 20lbs when I met my current husband. He is awesome and I am so beyond thankful to have him in my life. I took my time and he was well worth the wait. We were married this past November. I was about 235lbs and have since gained to 248.
So, here we are.....