Family, new granddaughter, work....aka (excuses) Life

So much has happened in the time I have been away and I have not handled it well.
My first reaction was to turn to food and not exercise.  Yes, I know, I know.  So I have an appt with the psychologist on Thursday.  Lots to go over.  :)

Where do I begin.  First, back in the spring I had someone close attempt suicide (can't recall if I mentioned it before).  I left work so upset, went home and ate a piece of cake.  It seems like once I did that, I spiralled from there.

Then my step-daughter was having some issues with her pregnancy.  Everything was upside down.  I lost my focus.

Then baby Madyson was born......healthy baby girl.  OHHHH what a blessing.  Life has changed and my focus was still off.

Then it was sooo horribly HOT.  Heat index of 116 most days.  Can't ride in that, I will have a stroke.

Work has been soooo busy that I work thru lunch, no time to read all those inspirational blogs.

So here I am.  Trying to clear my vision.  I did start back to my bike riding and am up to 22 miles a day.  But still working on my food focus.  I know all the right things....that is not the problem.  So I go see the doc on thursday to help me with my vision. 

I haven't gained (thank you God and band), but I haven't lost either.  Even with all the riding I am doing.

So here I am, laying out all my "sins" and trying to work thru them and get back on track.  Wish me luck.
Now, as soon as I am on a computer where I can post picutres, I will share pics of our granddaughter.

You have GOT to see this video. So inspiring.

I call her Aislyn

Sarah (a blogger I now follow) has given me the cycling bug.  This is one bug I hope to keep.  I LOVED biking when I was a teen and I pray it comes back.  My sister had this bike and she wasn't using it anymore, so I adopted it.  I named her Aislyn, which is Irish for Dream, Vision.  Yes, I do have an issue with naming inanimate objects.  My band is Desiree and my camera is Nikki.

Anyhow, Aislyn is in the shop getting some new street worthy shoes.  I have talked to several cyclist and they all say that it will be much easier to ride the roads with smooth tires.  As time goes on and I see if I am committed to this, then I will look at getting a new road bike.

I discovered there is a ride in my town this coming Sept, to raise money for MS research, so I am shooting to be ready for that.  I will decide by the end of the month, but I am pretty sure I am gonna go for it.

Can't wait to try her out this weekend.  Wish me luck (and a somewhat painless rear!)

Weigh day, Bermuda, NSV and PB from hell!!!

Well, I certainly have a lot of catching up to do.  I have spent this entire week just trying to get into my old routine and in that, read some of your blogs.  I am now getting around to posting.

First, my last official weigh day was April 11th.  So here are the numbers.
April 11th 207.0
Today 203.4
Total lost from the last weigh day is 3.6 and total is 43.6.

Now, while I am not thrilled with 3.6 lbs in 4 weeks, I am happy for a loss.  Plus, I weighed on the Thursday before we left and I was 207.4 and when I returned it was 205.6.  Almost 2 lbs lost while on the cruise.  I was extremely happy with that.  So that said, I lost 4 lbs in 2 and a half weeks.  I am cool with that.

I went to see my surgeon on Friday, May 4th.  He was so pleased with my results that he said he did not want to give me a fill and chance being too tight.  Works for me.  He still wants me to join a gym, but I just cannot fit it into the budget right now.  I need a new vehicle and am praying my old car keeps going for another year....so I am trying to keep my expenses so that I can afford a car payment next year.  I am working on proving to him that I can do this without going to a gym.  So I will keep my walking up and add some resistance training.

Bermuda!!!!  What can I say....WOW!!!!  It is sooooo beautiful!!!  I will post some pics soon.  I have only a few on this pc to show you.  We had a blast.  The cruise there and back was a bit rocky, but we all did well.  Can't say the same for quite a few others....they even had barf bags beside the elevators.
We went into St. George and wanted to see this old church built in the 1600's called St. Andrews.  Here is a pic of the steps....

And me after running up the steps Rocky style.  :)  My sisters were cheering me on.  A couple of things to note....one, I ran up steps.  wow  Second, I am wearing shorts.  (size 16 I might add)  That is huge...I NEVER wear shorts.

I had several NSV's while on this trip.  One, when I saw a pic of me I gasped and said, OH my word!!!  I have definition in my face!!!  I FINALLY saw my weight loss.  Second, we went into a store to get souvenirs.  I bought myself a t-shirt, but later when I was showing it to my sisters they were like, Um, Joyce....yeah....no, you need a smaller size!  YES!!! :)  Then, on the second day in Bermuda, I was sitting in the back seat of the taxi and I suddenly burst out with..."Oh my God!!!  My legs are crossed!!!"  I took a picture....will share later...it is on my home pc.  So, as you can see, this has been an exciting week.  Time with my sisters...lost 2 lbs and it was full of NSV's.

I was unsure how my band would do, but I was able to eat fine.  Then when I got home, I noticed that things didn't go down quite as easy.  On Tuesday after we got home, I was eating some turkey loaf and had a PB from hell.  It was aweful!!!  So bad that I couldn't even drink water 4 hrs later.  I had such a headache and couldn't even take liquid tylenol.  It bubbled and came right back up.   Whew, huge lesson learned.

Now, back to routine of work, play and preparing for a new grandbaby!!!

NSV.....or is it????

Well, lots of things are going on in my little world here in sunny North Carolina.  :)  We are in the process of building a deck and it is looking good.  I can't wait for that moment (hopefully Sunday morning before church) that I go out, early, coffee in hand and sit on my deck.

Also, in a week from now my sis and I will be Delaware bound where we will meet up with our other two sisters and on Sunday head to NY and ship out for Bermuda.  We are all so excited.

ok, on to the NSV.....I think.  So, there is this guy at work.  You know the kind, he is nice, but he talks more (with more enthusiasm) to the pretty girls.  Basically, I have seen him go out of his way to help a young, pretty female engineer, but never the new young guy engineers.  You get the picture.  Anyhow, I have chit chatted with him before, but not in great length and by far not with that enthusiasm.  Well, he walks past my desk the other day and says, "Hey pretty lady!".  Who is he talking to?  I look around...I am the only one.  Wow!!  Ok, I'll take it.  :)  I can't help what he is like, but I sure will take the compliment.  lol

But at the same time, I am perplexed.  Has 40 lbs made that much difference?  I know my looks are changing slowly (even though I don't really see it).  Is it that or is it me?  Is my confidence level showing a different side of me and people like him are feeding off of that?  Years ago....so many years ago, when I lost a considerable amount of weight, I noticed the same thing, but never really put much thought into it.

Maybe it is a combination of both.  Hmmmm....

weighday

My grand total is 40 lbs lost!!!  Yeah me!
Starting weight 247
Weigh at surgery 239
Last week 208
Today 207

Wow!!!!  I am only a few lbs from what I was when my husband and I met.  :)

Ok, so I came to work and was like, I lost 1 lb and my total is 40.  I wish I lost 2, but I will take it.  This guy says, but go into a store and pick up a 40lb bag of dog food and think about how much you have lost.  Wow, perspective.   I remembered that some folks post pictures of things that weigh the amount they lost...so here ya go.

That big ole fish is 40 lbs!!!
Happy Wednesday to all.

Weigh day

Once again, I am a day off in posting this.  Been full speed ahead at work and home.  Attempting to put up a deck and we are no carpenters.  whew...please pray for us. :)

ok, here are the numbers....drum roll please
Starting weight 247
Weight at surgery 239
Last week 210
Yesterday 208
Loss 2 lbs for this week.
Total loss of 39 lbs.   That makes me very happy.  Been stalled way too long.

Have a great day everyone!!!

MORBIDLY obese NO more!!!

Starting weight 247

Weight today 210

Lost total 37

Since surgery 29

Starting BMI 46

Today's BMI 39.4!!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was one of my first goals.  I HATE the word MORBIDLY and am soooo glad to get it out of my vocabulary (and off my butt).  :)  I knew a few weeks ago that if I wanted to get anywhere (especially since I still don't really have any restriction) that I had to get moving.  Since then I have been walking 3 miles each day.  And it is finally showing on the scale.  Whew!!!

Now on to the next goal.....Onederland!!!!

Honeymoon!!! Finally!!!

Well, after being married for a year and 4 months, my darling and I are FINALLY going on a honeymoon.  We are taking a 3 day weekend and going to Charleston, SC.  We love Civil War history and when I mentioned it to him, he was all for it.  We have been like two kids getting ready.  We both are so excited.  ha ha  It is supposed to rain on Saturday, so we will save the museums for that day.  We will probably go straight to the boat to go to Fort Sumter when we arrive.  Looking forward to playing with the new camera.  :)  Yes, I will post pics.

Support group pinning

Last night was the support group meeting hosted by my doctor’s office.  I LOVE going to these meetings and I see why they are a huge part of one’s success.  I learn so much every time from the seasoned bandits.

Last night they had a pinning ceremony.  I knew they wanted us to bring pictures or old clothes that we once wore.  For me, since I am in the early stages of this journey, I opted to bring a photo.  It was taken this past Sept. 29^th at a friend’s wedding.  I hate it, but it makes an awesome photo to look back on…even in these early stages.

Here is the pin I received.  We were given pins to represent our various stages, like loss of 100 lbs or 200 lbs.  My is for having the courage to take this step to better my health.  I love it!!!

This is the picture I brought with me from Sept.  I still don’t necessarily see all the changes, but my husband says he does.  I tried to explain to him why we don’t always see the changes and it takes time before we see ourselves clearly.  He didn’t quite understand, but that is ok.

Also, here is a shirt he bought for me in Oct for my birthday.  (I love this shirt….says I found Mr. Right, it is talking about Jesus).  It was quite snug on me then, so I attempted to take a pic of myself.  Then a month ago I put it on again and had him take a picture of me.  The biggest thing I noticed was my arms.  In the photo on the left (taken in Oct), my arms were snug in that shirt and in the picture on the right (taken Feb. 11th) the sleeves were hanging loose.  YES!!!

I love my band.

I have a new theme song........

I was sitting in the recliner this morning, reading blogs and catching up on some Biggest Loser while my family slept and I enjoyed my coffee.  It was sunny but cool and crisp out.  I was content with my coffee and the recliner, but then this years Biggest Loser theme struck me.....No Excuses.  Ugh!!!  So I got up, got dressed and ventured out.  I had already measured the distance from my house to the end of the road and it is 1.5 miles.  Yes, I walked 3 miles this morning.  It took me an hour to do because I stopped twice to talk to my neighbors and twice to talk to this little fella.

His name is Eeyore and he is the sweetest.
My husband texted to see where I was at and I was like, in front of Eeyore's, which is a mile from our house. I was about a quarter of a mile from our house when my husband showed up on the 4 wheeler and said, "you are determined aren't you girl".  Yep, I am!
It felt good.  I feel good.  I am even fixing my hair (which I hardly ever do anymore).  Amazing what a little walk does for the spirit.

The ghost of husband past.....

Well, this week has been full of some issues and eye openers for me.  There was an issue this week and I reacted....yes, with food.  Without even realizing it, I had pulled the leftovers out of the fridge and began to eat them (it would be REALLY nice to have some restriction in this band).  The next day I was like, what the heck!!!  It is definitly time to make my 3 month post op appt with the counselor.  ugh

Then the ghost of ex-husband 2 showed up.  No, not really him, but someone that sounded so much like him that I had an instant reaction.  You may recall from my first blog about my second husband.  You can read it here .  Anyhow, it has been 6 years since we split and I didn't realize it still affected me.

Here is how I made this revelation.  My son was in a fender bender.  He came home last night and of course, he was like, "first, it wasn't my fault".  lol, I love when they start off with that.  Anyhow, he said, "mom, this guy reminded me so much of him (my second ex husband)".  So I made some calls today to figure out what to do and this man (that my son was in the fender bender with) calls and leaves a message on my cell.  When I was listening to it, first, I almost threw up, then I almost cried.  My son was right, he sounded so much like him.....just the way he worded things and all.  I was surprised by my physical reaction and I realized just how much my ex affected my life.

So I called the counselor....dang, they leave early on Fridays.

Weighday

Happy Wednesday to all!!!!

ok, for for my weigh in.
Last week was 214.6
This week 213.2
Loss this week 1.4
Total 33.6

While I am very thankful for a loss, I am not excited about the number.  Now, that said, I realize I was sick the other week and just now started back to walking (before that, if I exerted myself, I coughed up a lung).  I am just so looking forward to that first goal of no longer being labeled Morbidly obese.  I am only a fraction away on the BMI chart.  2 lbs away.  Well, now that I can walk, my goals are to continue walking my 1 mile walk at break time (9am) and on days that the weather permits and I do not go out to lunch, I will walk the 3 mile trail near my office.  I have got to set my mind to this.  I need to not think about it and just do it.  Like I read in a recent blog.  I have to learn that it is ok to take time for me.  Because it also makes me a better me for them.  :)
I also realize that I do not have much restriction yet and I won't see much until early May when I get another fill.  I am kind of curious when I go on the cruise if I will feel any changes.  I have seen in many blogs how different climates and such affect restriction (hence the reason the nutritionist changed my fill appt for after I return).  Might be good if I had a little extra restriction. ;)

Have a blessed Wednesday.

Nutritionist, PB from hell and upcoming cruise

I went for a 3 month visit with my nutritionist yesterday.  Have I mentioned lately that I love this woman.  She has such an awesome personality!!!  She was once again pleased with my progress.  She knows that I still don't have much restriction and I am doing some of this on my own.  I was supposed to go early April to get my next fill (I have 6 cc's in my 11 cc band.  The nutritionist said most folks with the Realize band do not feel much until 7cc's). Anyhow, she was sitting there thinking and then suddenly said, when is your fill????? when is your cruise????  When she realized they were only 2 weeks apart, she quickly said, no, wait until you return for your next fill.  "I do not want you going out of the country with a new fill."  While I am looking forward to my next fill, I do not want to be sitting in Bermuda, unable to eat ANYTHING.  So she rescheduled my fill appointment.

Then last night, I decided to eat a couple of tator tots.  Well, Desiree had OTHER ideas.  Whew, a gun shot to the chest couldn't have hurt any worse.  My chest was on fire!!!  I was so glad to get rid of those tots and I flung the other 3 out the door for the dog.  I hope he enjoyed them!!!  Lesson learned!!!

I told her my goal of being below 200 when we leave for the cruise.  She was like, if you continue exactly as you are now, you will only miss it by half a lb, so with just a little extra effort, there is no reason I won't be.  Yeah!!!!

I am 2 lbs from being under 40% bmi, 14 lbs from being in onderland and around 16 lbs from hitting 50lbs.  Sweet!!!!!  Love my mini-goals.  OHHHH, and I bought some 1XL jeans yesterday.  Yes!!!  Adios, 3X, Good buy 2X.  I got the kind with elastic band so I can wear them for awhile, but it was still exciting.

I also want to add how much I love you all.  Your words of inspiration mean soooooo much to me.  Your support is amazing and helps me so much.  Thank you!!!

Weighday

Starting weight 247
Last week 216.8
Today 214.6
This weeks lost 2.2, total loss of 32.4

I am so ready to see 211.4 because I will be shedding that dreaded word MORBIDLY obese.  :)  It's so close!!!

The week before last I wasn't making the best food choices, then I ended up with a cold and my workout has consisted of pulling the handle on the recliner.  Right now, if I try to do much of anything I will cough a lung up.  ugh!!!

We have 7 weeks before our cruise (my sisters and I) and I so badly want to be below 200 by then.  With a little extra work, there is no reason I can't achieve this goal.  I am hoping the last bits of this cold will be gone by the weekend and I can start working out.

Weighday

What better photo than this to represent 30 lbs lost!!!  30 lbs of fat!!!  wow!!!

Last week I had lost 2 lbs (I didn't blog...shame on me)
Here are my totals thus far:
Beginning 247
Day of banding 238.4
Last week 218.0
Today 216.8
Total lost 30.2 with a BMI of 41!!!  In 5.8 lbs I will no longer be MORBIDLY Obese. I am sooo ready to get rid of that word.  What an aweful word it is.

Well, like many before me, I am in the "I can't see the loss" mode.  My husband grabbed me and our wedding album from a year ago and off to the bathroom mirror we went.  He opened the book and said LOOK, now tell me you can't see that.  :)  awww, he is too sweet!!!

I still have trouble seeing it, but what I didn't have trouble seeing was that I can wear a t-shirt he bought me for my birthday back in Oct.  Now that is exciting.  What will be even more exciting is the day I fit into some 18 pants!!!

Weighday, first goal met and first stuck experience

Happy Wednesday to all!!!

Ok, I tried to weigh last week, but my scale got real squirrely (praying I don't have to get a new one yet).

So, todays total is 220.0 for a total of 27 lbs lost (over 10% of my weight gone!!!).  18.4 of this is after surgery!!!

My first goal was to lose 10%.  Yeah.

Now for the stuck episode.  We were having a big conversation during dinner last night and I swallowed too soon.  Then it hit me, square in the chest.  Oh my!!!  I got up and paced back and forth from the living room to the kitchen and thankfully it passed.  whew.  I am kind of glad it happened because I get my second fill this coming friday and I needed this reminder to chew and eat slowly.

I have been walking for 20 minutes each day with a co-working and trying to get more in the evenings at home.  That is the hard part.  Even with grown children you get pulled in 20 directions.  I think I am going to have to just say, this time slot is mine, you get me after that.  :)

Weighday and NSV

Once again, I weighed on Wednesday and am just now getting around to blogging it.  Life has still been moving quickly.

Starting weight 247
Weight last Wed 224.4
Wednesday 223.4
Loss this week 1 lb (I had too many carbs)
Loss to date 23.6
Since surgery 15

I am getting close to my first goal of 10% down.  That will be at a total loss of 24.7.

For the past couple of days, I have been taking a 20 min walk during my break.  It has been quite cold, but me and a co-worker go anyhow.  I am feeling pretty good.  I managed to walk yesterday evening for 45 mins.  I have a new work out goal.....to do no less then 45 mins, no less then 2 miles and no less then 5000 steps.  So, I will not stop on the treadmill until I have reached all three of those goals.  Once I do that, I will set a new work out goal. :)

I had a NSV yesterday at work.  A co-worker that didn't know about my surgery was like, "Girl, you have been losing some weight."  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Me so happy!!!!

Weighnesday (a day late again)

Beginning weight 247
Weight at surgery 238.4
Current weight 224.4
Lost this week 2.8
Since surgery 14
Total to date 22.6

Over twenty lbs!!!

I am well on my way to my first Mini Goal, 10%.  When I hit 24.7 lbs lost I will have met my 10% lost goal.  Yeah!!!  I know they say losing at least 10% can have major positive impacts on your health.

I had my first NSV (non scale victory) yesterday.  I have this certain blouse that I seem to always wear on Wednesdays.  It has elastic sides, so is somewhat form fitting.  I typically do NOT wear things form fitting, but this blouse actually looked nice.  Anyhow, as I was dressing, my husband was strolling into the bathroom and I went, OMG!!!  Look at this blouse.  After buttoning it, I could grab a handful of the material.  It is no longer form fitting...it was just hanging.  YES!!!!

2nd post op visit and first fill

Well, I am once again a day late in blogging.  It has been a crazy week with two vehicles breaking down.  One is back and running, the other is dead.  So we get to go truck shopping.  Oh my.

On to band news.  I went to the nutritionist on Thursday.  She said most folks lose 10-20 lbs that first 4 weeks.  I was on the low end of that at 11 lbs.  It seems the type of band I have has no fluid, therefore I had no restriction except for any swelling from surgery.  I did get the bariatric card for ordering smaller meals at restaurants and some tips about some of the foods I am eating.  I go back in a month.

I went for my second post op appt yesterday and got my first fill!!!!  Yeah!!!!  I got 4 cc's in my 11 cc band.  I do feel a little this morning.  When I drink, I get this feeling like I need to burp and get this little gurgle sound.  I am on mushies today and real food tomorrow.  I am a bit nervous about that, but you can believe I will chew everything to a pulp.

Well, I didn't think of something until the nurse pointed it out.  I started out with a BMI of 46 and am now at 42.  YES!!!  In just 15 more lbs, I will no longer be Morbidly obese, just obese.  I know it still sounds bad, but not as bad as MORBIDLY obese.  I hate that word!!!

Well, this got me to wanting to list out a few of my short term Goals.

1. Get my BMI to 39 to go from Morbide obesity to just Obese.
2. To get out of size 20 something and into the teens.  Since I wear elastic everything, I wasn't sure what size I actually wear, so I stopped by Kohl's yesterday and tried some Jeans on so that I would have something to gauge that by.  22 fit comfortably, 20s would fasten, but wouldn't be too comfortable.  I believe I was in 24s before.  Yeah me!
3.  To reach Onderland.  Oh what a happy day that will be.  I haven't been there since around 2006.

I need to work on a reword system for all my mini goals.

Weighnesday (a day late)

Good morning!!!  Well, I was gonna blog this yesterday but we had several issues that took up my time.  Two of our vehicles over heated in the freezing temps.  I was soooo scared that I may have cracked my radiator, but it seems to be ok.  Who knows.  My husbands truck is another story.  His kept over heating and now won't crack.  We are looking at getting a couple of newer vehicles.  ugh!!!

Now, on to band news. I weighed yesterday and I was down 3.6 lbs.  YES!!!  :)

Ok, to re-cap.
Starting weight was 247
Weight when banded 238.4
Current weight 227.2
Total lost 19.8
Lost since banding 11.2

Is it too soon to say I love Desiree???
I go today to see the nutritionist again and tomorrow for my second post op doc appt.  The PA said we will discuss a fill.  I guess I won't get one yet....ugh.  I am ready.  I have now know that the band I have has no fluid in it (from my understanding, the Allergan brand has some, the Realize one does not).  So I am on my own right now.  I am sticking with the low carb diet per the nutritionist and I am measuring everything to keep myself in line.  Normally I would cave and eat more or eat the wrong things, but I am afraid of screwing up what they have done, therefore I am measuring everything.  I am looking forward to restriction.  :)

I will let y'all know what they say friday.  Have a great day.

Word for 2012

I have been pondering this all week.  There are sooooo many words that would apply to me right now since I have been banded for less than a month.  But I had to choose just one, therefore I choose......

Faithful:

1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.

2. true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

3. steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends.

4. reliable, trusted, or believed.

5. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy.

 

I want to be faithful to myself in taking time for me.  That is a new concept for me.  Taking time to make the right eating choices and taking time to exercise.

I feel I got a good start.  I went to Myrtle Beach with some friends to bring in the New Year and celebrate a friends retirement.  It was a blast and they were amazed at my food choices.  I was faithful to myself.

Happy New Year to all of you.  May it be a truly blessed year.